Life, Love and Relationships

Love your enemies part 5 - And now....

…God led me to know Him and His love.  God led me to love, heal and embrace myself.   

Now, I don’t judge other people’s intention anymore.  If ever I am tempted to do so, I will always remind myself that it is between that person and God.  I will remind myself that I can’t see through the person’s heart.  I will always challenge myself with ‘Who am I to judge?’  I will always remind myself that I don’t have the right and the capacity to judge.

Now, whenever I encounter someone that I don’t have a good chemistry with, I am seeing that situation as God’s opportunity for me to get to know that person more and find the Christ in him/her.  I see that situation as an opportunity of refinement.   Each encounter is God’s way of revealing my weaknesses that I need to ask God to heal.

Now, I am always praying and making it a point to feel, to hear and to see God’s correction, love and smile in every encounter that I have in and out of the community.   

Now, the most important thing is, I am praying for these people and myself.

It is a continuous process of refinement.  It is a lifetime journey to perfect holiness.  I will gladly go through it with my one GREAT LOVING GOD!!!! J  Who is always there to guide me.  Who is always there to catch me when I fall.  Who is always there to love me.

For all of these, may my big GREAT LOVING GOD be praised!!!!

Love your enemies part 4 - The God that I found..

…It is between a person and God.

God led me to know Him more through His words through the Bible studies that I am attending at CAEC.   I sought to know Him more and I found that God is really LOVE.  He made me realize that my service is nothing if I don’t have love in me.  He made me realize that my service is useless if I am not seeing Him in every way possible.

I found and knew a God who is full of LOVE.  I found a God who loves me SO much.  I found a God crafted me carefully and blessed me with uniqueness.  I found a God who loves every inch of me and who is patiently refining me. 

A God who is asking me to love the people around me no matter what because each is His creation, each is going through His refinement and each has his own struggles.  I found a God who is asking me to work well with my fellow servants.  A God who is asking me to put myself aside and work well with His fellow servants because we are doing His work and it is His work that is uniting us.  I found a God who is continuously reminding me to value relationship within the service team rather than to focus on the service.  A God who is continuously refining me to be a channel of His love and peace always and in all ways.

Love your enemies part 3 - Tell me how...

….So the BIG question now is HOW?????

I prayed to God to tell me how.  I prayed to God to show me how.  Because what I only want is to love and obey Him completely.  God is really so great because He knows that I am really seeking for the answer.  Then He answered.  He led me to situations that led to my healing.  One concrete example was the Technical Analysis retreat that He allowed me to go through.   What He did was to heal me first.  He made me feel His love big time!!  He opened my heart to His love!!  He opened my eyes to my uniqueness!! 

He made me realize that the negative opinions that I have for others are reflections of my weaknesses and insecurities may it be a present one or something that I subconsciously have.  God is showing me the areas that I need to change through these people.  He made me realize the real meaning of the words that Ate Noralyn is repeatedly telling me, ‘Who are we to judge?’  Who are we to judge the intention of a person because only God knows what is inside one’s heart.  It is only God who can see what is really inside a person’s heart.  At the end of the day, it is between that person and God.

Love your enemies part 2 - A deeper journey...

....I thought God will forever be telling me "I am so proud of you my child!"

We really have a funny and progressive God because as His child, He once again asked me to deeper journey.  In late 2006, He was always convicting me with His words 'Love your enemies.  Love one another as I have loved you.'

As an active servant in the community, I had the chance to serve and interact with different people.  Naturally, I came across people with whom I don't have good chemistry with.  There will be someone whose mere presence irritates me.  There was an instance when I would look at someone and ask God 'Is he/she sincere in what he/she is doing?'   There were times when I was asking God why He let someone come near me.   I also experienced having rebellious thoughts whenever a certain brother is leading the praise and worship.  I didn't show these people what I felt nor confronted them.  The battle was inside me.

But here is God, bugging me with His words, 'LOVE YOUR ENEMIES.'  I explored this message.  I can very well remember that Christmas eve dinner in 2006 when I opened up myself to Ate Noralyn.  I asked her how is it to really love my 'enemies.'  I told her the emotions and thoughts that I have whenever I see people whom I am not comfortable with.  I asked her, 'Isn't it enough for me to have a civil relationship with these people?'  Anyway, I am not doing anything to them. 

God answered through her, 'It is not enough.  What matters most is what is inside your heart.  Who are we to judge?'

So the BIG question now is HOW????

Love your enemies part 1 - The beginning...

I was just a mediocre SFC when I first joined the community.  I only attended household meetings and went to activities where I am required to dance.  Normally, I will dance and leave the activities right away.  This is for the reason that I am not comfortable within the community.  Also, my mindset before was to be in the community only to give back the talents that He has given me.

I slowly realized what SFC can offer me in terms of deepening my relationship and faith with the Lord.  So after 2 years of being a mediocre SFC, I realized that the reason why I am not committing to SFC and all its activities is I fear to commit to God.  I was afraid to know Him more for fear of being given a big trial in life. 

With this realization, I confronted myself and heeded God’s call.  I told God ‘This is it!! I am committing to you!!’  So after 2 years in SFC, I finally served fully whenever and where ever possible.  Along with service is me attending all teachings, retreats and PAs.  I was really active!!! 

I thought that was it.  It’s just that!  I am serving God and that is enough.  I thought God will remain contented and happy with me.  I thought God will forever be telling me ‘I am so proud of you my child!’

Omni.. Omni.. Omnipresent? Ano daw??

God showed His power and majesty again as He concluded the St. Anne CLP and started the real journey of the participants. He is so faithful and loving to His servants. I can attest to this because He showed His truth once again to me thru this CLP.

One week before the St. Anne graduation while walking and talking to God, I was tempted to have these thoughts, 'I always feel, see and hear You every second of my life. You always make me smile and You always guide me. How about the others? If you are with me, are you really also with them? Are you really omnipresent? Are you also talking to them the way you are talking to me? Or are you just a product of my imagination?'

He gave me the answer through the St. Anne CLP.  One of the DGL sisters was hesitant to be a head.  I tried my convincing powers which God allowed to work well with the other DGL sisters. Having a 2-0 point system with that approach gave me the confidence that she will agree to lead.  Saturday morning came, the first sms that I read was from her, begging off to lead.  Wow Lord!! What a way to start my day, with only 1 day left to graduation, what would you like me to do?  I stopped, talked to Him again, started my day early and talked to Him the whole day.  I broke the news to Ate Ellaine who was in Batam for the Discovery Weekend.

I didn't reply to the sms right away. I prayed to God to tell me what to do.  God made sure that it was a busy day with friends around to prevent me from acting on impulse that may cause more damage hehehe.  In the afternoon, an idea popped in my head so I texted the sister.  While hitting the send button I told God, 'last attempt please bless this.  I am lifting it all up to You.'  I also sent the same message to Ate Ellaine.  Surprisingly, Ate Ellaine replied back telling me that it was the exact words that she would like me to tell the sister. This made me smile because I know that the idea came from Him because here is His affirmation. CRYSTAL CLEAR!!!

After a while, the sister texted me and this time it was positive. ALLELUIA!!!! She agreed to lead!!! I praised and thanked God!!!

Monday came, the sister sent me the story behind her 'YES' to service.  She said that in Saturday, I believe it was between her morning SMS and my afternoon reply, God answered all her concerns. God fixed what ever it is that is hindering her to serve.  This was the reason why she said 'Yes.' 

This is so surreal!!! I realized that God was working in the elders in Batam, God is working in me here in Singapore and God is silently working in the life of the DGL sister.  This was happening all at the same time, happening to achieve His great work.  Indeed, He is OMNIPRESENT!!!   Who says the CLP is a battle being fought by the servants????   It was His from the very beginning.

This is what I love about Him.   He never fails to surprise me.   He always answer my questions in His own perfect time.  He also knows how to answer me in a way I can understand Him.   He never fails to put a smile on my face.   He knows how to talk to me.   He knows how to handle me.   He knows me in and out.   He knows me intimately.   He loves me very, very much!!!! :)

Cheers to my one great loving God!!   Who is everywhere, everytime and with everyone. :)   I pray that you will spend the time to feel His presence always and in all ways. :)

Nearing the finish line... OOOOPPSSSS....

Two more Sundays to go and our St. Anne CLP is over.  I remember when we first started this 3 months ago, prayer time and fasting were set, warnings on oppressions were given and everybody was praying for protection.   As we near its end, God brought me back to one of the trekking experiences that I had. 

I am afraid of snakes and this is an understatement!! I can't find the exact word to describe what I feel about snakes and reptiles in general.  This is the reason why in every trek that I go to, I am always in my most prayerful mode for protection in each step of the way.  I am not exaggerating when I said 'each step' because if you can just hear my mind while trekking, you will really say, 'Oo nga 'no at understatement pala ang each step.'

I previously had 6 trekking trips that went well and when I say went well it means no reptile encounters.. hehe  I firmly believe that it is because of my prayers for protection.

On my 7th trekking trip, I prepared myself for the battle and prayed as I climb up and down the mountain.  On our way down, I realized that we are nearing our final stop and I estimated that we are only left with 1.5 km to walk.  Then a lot of thoughts came in..

1. Moomai... you already had 6 trekking trips that went well.  How can this one be different?

2. I have 5 people walking in front of me and 5 more behind me.  To walk in the middle of a group is my silent strategy to keep away from reptiles. :)

3. Moomai... The chances of a reptile encounter is now slim because of the location that we are in.

All of these thoughts gave me the confidence and I stopped to be in prayerful mode.  I only drew confidence and relief from these thoughts.  Minutes later, a snake quickly wiggled it's way in front of me.  I screamed!! I shouted in fear!! I shouted in anger as I use it to cover my fear!!  Afterwards, I composed myself. :)  hehehehe...

My fool-proof defense is now up.  I am now in my most, most, most prayerful mode for protection.  I asked Him, how could this happen?!?!  What are you trying to tell me?!?!  Then He answered, 'You let go of me and you forget about me as you near the finish line. Why?'  I fell silent... It is now my time to reflect for my answers.

Then He made me realize these messages... In life, no matter what I do I should always pray for His grace, guidance and protection.  If ever I am nearing the end of that particular task that I am so fervently praying for, I should not stop in praying.  In fact, I must pray more.  I must also pray for humility that whatever is the result of what I did, it is Him who allowed it to happen.  He is the one who has sent me all the people and resources that made it happen.

We are nearing the end of our St. Anne CLP.  God reminded me that this is not the end of the journey.  This is just the beginning of the journey of His new harvest that He has blessed us with.  With this reminder, He told me to pray more for His people to continue the journey towards Him.  To pray for protection for His servant and people.

For all of these, may my big great loving God be praised!!! May His words be heard and be planted in each of our hearts!!! :)

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! LOVES KO TALAGA SIYA!!!! LOVES TALAGA NIYA TAYONG LAHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dragon Warrior...

I watched Kung Fu panda and it sure did give me lots of laughter.  I love watching cartoons because with the laughter comes heaven loads of wisdom. 

I've seen disillusion in Po and Tai Lung when they first found out that there is nothing written in the secret scroll of great power a.k.a dragon warrior.  A thought hit me, the effect of this discovery is different on Po and Tai Lung. 

Being the dragon warrior is Tai Lung's ultimate dream.  He worked hard for it.  He waited for it.  He used it as a motivation.  He built his world around it.  He even hated his father and almost destroyed the whole community because of it.   So just imagine how his world crumbled when he found out that there is really no secret. 

Looking at it in a negative way (which what Tai Lung did) one would think 'what now? where do i go from here? what happened to my dream?'  All these and more self-degrading questions will come out and would lead to self-destruction.  These negative thoughts are blocking the real meaning of the secret.  That is, everything is possible when you believe and there is really no need for any rocket science to succeed.

I suddenly thought of the dragon warrior scroll as one of my dreams in life.  A dream that I've worked hard for.  A dream on which I based my every decision on.  A dream that keeps me going.   Then, in the end I will find out that it is not what God want me to have.  Will I welcome His plan wholeheartedly???  Will I obey Him???   

Hopefully, this situation will not come.  However, if ever it will, I will always hang on to His words...

          Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you.  Plans to give you hope and a future.

....and with this I will pray for guidance, humility and obedience... For I know that He knows what is best for me.

For this, may my great loving and faithful God be praised!!!!

What is love?

A friend asked my definition of love because they need it for our SFC newsletter.  I suddenly thought 'sana high school na lang ako para isasagot ko kaagad 'Love is like a rosary that is full of mystery'.  CLASSIC slum book days!!!! hehehe...  As I seriously thought about it, I was amazed because I don't know how to define it.

Looking back to my high school years, I really thought of love as a mystery.  After a long journey in life, love and prayer, it's mystery is not that great anymore.  However, why am I finding it so difficult to define?   I can only think of the manifestations that I can associate to my idea of love but never a definition. 

Halfway in writing this blog, a lightbulb popped on my head and I readily replied this to my friend, 'Love is the absence of hatred specially to a person who had caused you great pain.'  And this is my poetic way of putting what I have in my heart. 

To say it in a modern way let me borrow the line that I really love from the movie 10 things I hate about you which goes, '...But most of all, I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.'  This line was said after a litany of all the things that the girl hated in her boyfriend.

May it be poetic or modern way, it all boils down to what Christ commanded us to do 'Love others (specially your enemies) as I have loved you.'  God's been refining me in this area as I was confronted with so many situations that required me to go beyond myself by loving the people that I classified as difficult.

Ang bigat nga lang ng '...as I have loved you' but I believe in God's grace and with constant prayers and humility, I know Christ will get me there.

For all of these may my big great loving God be praised!!!!

way beyond the horizon

God’s been taking me on a journey of a complete surrender to Him that would naturally require complete obedience.   It all climaxed to me reading this reflection from my perpetual calendar ‘Lord, Your call to obedience may not always make sense to me, but help me to remember that You have a reason for everything.’

Here’s a bit of my journey.  In 2006, God reawakened my plans to go to US.  I prepared and for the first time I asked God what His will is in my life.   One of the preparations that I did was to save money in USD.   Another is to discern the message thru Ate Noralyn which was ‘Go where the money is’.   I did some accounting and the obvious choice was Singapore.   However, this contradicted to my desire to really pursue my US plan.   ‘Sigurista’, I spent my whole year discerning or should I say accepting the will of God.   Finally, I accepted it and stayed in Singapore.  All I can say is the will of God is really the best for me for I am living in full happiness here in Singapore. 

In 2007, USD weakened.  I smiled to God and thanked Him for not letting me go to US.   Unfortunately, I already saved some USD and I can’t exchange it now because I will incur a loss.   From then on, I would always ask God what is His purpose for my USD.   In the end of 2007, slowly I am getting the answer. 

This story continues up to this day and I still don’t know how this will end or how will this continue.  One thing is for sure, obedience to God is the key to happiness.  For I can only see up to the horizon but He sees far, far beyond it.